Friday, January 27, 2006

Desperately Seeking Self Confidence

Dear Cassandra,

I have always been taught that men should be the ones to initiate conversation. But when I am out at bars with my friends, I am rarely approached. Does it have something to do with my body language? What can I do to make men notice me?

Sincerely,

Desperately Seeking Self Confidence


Dear Desperately Seeking Self Confidence,

The first thing you must realize is that we are living in modern times. This is not 800 B.C. You can't expect that some big hunky Greek soldier is going to sweep you off your feet, make you his concubine, and have you bear him twins. I had to learn this the hard way too after my first husband's psychotic ex-wife set into motion a series of unfortunate events (but that is a whole different story) that left me on the singles scene once again. Indeed, it took a few hundred years before I could even think about striking up a conversation with another guy. But one day when I was at a “taverna” having some wine with friends, a cute man caught my eye. After inspecting to see that he did not have a wedding ring (I certainly wasn't going through that whole ordeal again), I approached him and said "Quid est prenomen tibi?" Although his Latin was not as good as mine, he replied "Prenomen mihi est Troy. Et tu?" And the rest is history. Troy and I began dating and just a few years ago, he and I moved into a nice aluminum-sided condo just outside of Albany. Indeed, one must adopt a more proactive approach to be noticed these days. So take a chance. Next time you are out, go talk to the handsome man standing alone at the end of the bar. He could be a serial killer…but he also could be your next boyfriend.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

A 60% Chance of Raining Men

A 60% Chance of Raining Men wrote:

I've been having exchanges with two guys I met on a popular dating Web site this week. Eventually, I gave my phone number to each of them. Both said they would call me early this week...so no word from either boy. Apparently my cell phone number has a very perverse effect on boys. Both seemed at least slightly interested and then slightly nothing...if I see matchelor #1 on IM should I drop a line or should I give it another day? Where is the fine line between pushy and disinterested?


Cassandra wrote:

This is coming from someone who has very minimal patience for anything, and extremely little in terms of dating. However, with both of these guys, you must play it cool and calm. They are obviously both interested, but you need to give them some time before you give up on them. After all, they might be intimidated by the idea of meeting someone online. With something like this, there are no time constraints. Since you have plenty of time to coordinate things, just let everything flow as it may. I do know how you feel though. Waiting for someone else to make the next move is excruciatingly painful and it can really have an adverse effect on how you see things. Just remember, you've done a good deal by giving out your cell phone number. It is now time for one of these guys to make the next move. Most likely, at least one will.

A 60% Chance of Raining Men replied:

How is it that you packed about 80 million years of wisdom into about 200 decades? You're right. I'm the least patient person when it comes to anything, nevermind dating. I'm just a little concerned that one guy asks about coffee. I say yeah sure and stop hearing from him. Then, the next one...get like a slew of contact...hand over my digits after a bit of a hint...and, voila, nothing. I'm starting to think that my digits are a little cursed. Hmmmmm. I gave it the old college try...might be back in line with my long-term spinster goal. :) hee hee hee
You're the best Cassandra!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Just Ask Cassandra

Are you faced with a troublesome situation? Do you already have your mind made up that you will deal with your dilemma in a most inappropriate way? Do you still want to hear good advice for how to deal with this situation, even though you have absolutely no intention of utilizing this wisdom to reach an acceptable resolution? Then you have come to the right place. Tell me about what plagues you (relationship drama, family dysfunction, job-related woes, etc.) and I'll purvey sound advice for how to handle your problem. But, please...don't take my word for it...